In the beginning, there was instant gratification.
Today, the idea of getting something for nothing, or almost nothing is common and undermining the quality of martial artists. There are very few people who have natural ability and skill to master the art without putting in the time and effort. Belt promotions or time expectations for development are fairly common in martial arts. This allow the student to gain the necessary skills and strength to be able to perform with proficiency. Expectations can be difficult for young people to accept and understand.
We live in a world of instant gratification. Young people expect to get things with little or no effort. Every school owner or instructor can tell you about the student who walks in expecting to be a certain belt in X time. Usually, it is an unrealistic expectation which can lead the student to get frustrated. The frustrated student may refuse to participate or even try! (May I go to the bathroom?) And in extreme cases, that student leaves and never comes back. They may even blame the instructor for their lack of progress or skill.
One word to change the attitude
Years ago, when I was in nursing school, a required class was change theory. Change is the process of replacing or altering existing knowledge, skills, attitudes, systems, policies, or procedures with new knowledge, skills, attitudes, systems, policies, and procedures. (Christman, 2017) The idea is to alter behavior for a better outcome. There are several different Change Theorists who propose slightly different theories, but they all agree that once a poor behavior is identified then a change agent will start the change. Eventually, with support and reinforcement, the behavior changes. This happens with encouragement, reinforcement, support, and consistency. This process can be applied to martial arts.
By adding one simple thing, it can be accomplished.
It is a small word.
Just three letters.
It can easily turn any negative statement into a positive and encouraging moment.
Yet
Yet, it is an adverb that means up to the present time or up until now. Vocabulary.com notes, “yet can be used to introduce a contrast, refer to the future, or to something that you need more of.” (Vocabulary.com/dictionary/yet, 2024) – you said you would not come, yet here you are. It can be used similarly to, but when connecting two diverging ideas. The sun is out, yet it is raining. Yet can be used in a negative situation to describe a situation that has existed up to the present time – I usually run late, yet today I am early. It also describes future time and can be a comparison word. Yet expresses the idea of “so far” indicating this is not the end, there is more to come.
Google Books Ngram has a graph (see below) showing the use of yet in books between 1800 and today. At the highest point in 1803, 0.05% of words in books. At its lowest point in 1986, it had dropped to 0.01%. Today, it has improved slightly to 0.02% of words in books. (Google Books Ngram Viewer, 2024) To me, it shows how our attitudes have changed over time from being hopeful to having the expectation of achieving.
Yet is full of promise. It allows people to make mistakes without judgment or demeaning the person. Yet invites people to grow. Yet sets expectations for the student by saying: “I understand where you are and where you can get to.”
Paradigm shift
The new year is a great time to set expectations for your students and instructors. We need to start to change that thinking and refocus the student on a positive way of looking at training. As instructors we need to shift the student paradigm from the expectation they will gain experience without effort, to teaching them only with time and practice will they get to where they want to go. Yet allows the instructor to set the expectations. It acknowledges the student’s effort but gently encourages them to continue.
I teach Tae Kwon Do. The tenets of TKD include perseverance and indomitable spirit. Perseverance means practice and patience, doing things over and over until you get it. Indomitable spirit is believing in yourself and never giving up. Yet is the embodiment of these tenets.
I have a magnet that says: “A friend is someone who knows who you are, understands where you’ve been, accepts who you’ve become, and still, gently invites you to grow.” This is I get you, but you can be so much more – Yet.
The next time you hear a student say: “I can’t do that,” add the word yet.
“I’m not a black belt,” – yet with practice and time, you can get there.
“I don’t know how to do that,” – yet let me show you how.
“I’m not good enough,” – yet keep practicing
“I didn’t win,” – yet you learned something
One small word can make a world of difference to your students, help with retention, and keep a positive attitude in your training space. Become the change agent in your school just by adding a small three letter word yet!
References
Christman, E. a. (2017). LibreText, Medicine. Retrieved from Implementing Change: https://med.libretexts.org/Bookshelves/Nursing/Nursing_Management_and_Professional_Concepts_1e_(OpenRN)/04%3A_Leadership_and_Management/4.03%3A_Implementing_Change
Google Books Ngram Viewer. (2024, July). Retrieved from https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?year_start=1800&year_end=2019&corpus=26&smoothing=7&case_insensitive=on&content=yet
Vocabulary.com/dictionary/yet. (2024). Retrieved from IXL Learning: https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/yet
When she is not teaching, she is a nurse practicing in the medical/legal world, beekeeper, and outdoor enthusiast. She lives in Georgia, Vermont with her family, two dogs, two cats, and thousands of bees!
- One word can make all the difference - January 4, 2025
Leave a Reply