Toxic Martial Artist Personality Types

Martial artists are, generally, great people. In fact, I’ve long maintained that martial artists are a better group of people than non-martial artists. I’ve done a fair bit of traveling, and I suppose I may be biased, but I have found martial artists to be more sensitive, compassionate, and caring than the other people I typically engage with. It’s not night and day, don’t get me wrong. But if I had to choose to spend my time with two people I’d never met, and one of them is a martial artist… well, you know who I’d choose.

The Five Types of Martial Artist to Avoid (If Possible)

Unfortunately, the exceptions do exist, and I am sure that we’ve all met at least a few. In my time training and hosting Martial Arts Radio, I’ve had the opportunity to meet a few people who provided me wonderful examples of how not to conduct myself. These people are, to varying degrees, toxic. In some cases, they’re frustrating and may reduce the impact or enjoyment of training. In more severe examples, they can cause physical or psychological damage. Let’s explore a few of the toxic personality types.

The Contrarian

This person always has a different way to do something. Maybe they mention their former training environment, perhaps they point out how they saw something more effective on YouTube. In the gentlest of cases, the contrarian simply wants you to know that they know another way of doing things, but in worse cases, they insist on you knowing they have a better way of doing things. If possible and necessary, quickly acknowledge them and move on.

The Pragmatist

Similar to the contrarian, the pragmatist insists that every technique they do be useful in a violent altercation. These are the folks you see typing the refrain, try doing that on the street when confronted with a beautiful forms performance or an athletic point sparring technique. If you demonstrate a technique, they may request you demonstrate it on someone and, in the case where it appears to work, they may respond by indicating that it wouldn’t work on an unwilling opponent. This is not to suggest that everyone who values practical technique is a pragmatist in this context – the toxic problem occurs when their insistence on this perspective gets in the way of others’ training. If I can’t avoid it, I remind the pragmatists that there are those engaged in martial arts for reasons beyond self-defense, and there is a benefit to at least some diversity in training.

The Bully

Sadly, bullies do exist in martial arts. The worst of them will partner up with the smaller, weaker, or newer students and “show them a few things.” These types are responsible for many “final” classes among the newer students. There’s a difference between getting hit by someone working to help you or teach you as opposed to someone who simply wants to feel better about themselves. My prescription for this is a bit old school – but effective: remind the bully they’re not the toughest one in the room. If that doesn’t work, show them the door.

The Cheater

Most martial arts schools have some sort of free-form partner work. Whether that be sparring, or self-defense-related, the cheater thrives on operating under a different set of rules than their partner. They go fast when the instructions are to go slow, but complain if their partner speeds up to match them. Cheaters see nothing wrong with using trickery to “win” whatever exchange occurs during training and will deny using them if called out. The longer they’re permitted to get away with this behavior, the more confident and worse they’ll become. Best to stop it as early as possible.

The Apathetic

Most schools seem to have at least one person that doesn’t want to be there and, in some cases, they bring everyone else down. I’ve run classes where I dreaded certain individuals attending, knowing that their negative or disinterested energy would pull the rest of the class down with them. Apathetic personalities don’t care how fun class is, what you’re working on, or leave any opportunity for improving their mood or skills. Most of the time this is a child being forced to attend classes, but sometimes it’s an adult who made a promise to someone – sometimes someone else in the class – to attend. I’ve found an open discussion about their “why” for attending classes results in a change of personality, or departure.

Be Wary – But Sympathetic

I am not suggesting that the personality types above don’t deserve to train, or that they’re necessarily bad people. In a martial arts class, we have to balance the needs of individuals with the needs of the class. If you’re an instructor with one of these toxic types, and their impact on others is extreme, you owe it to your students to correct the behavior. If that’s not possible, move them to private lessons or out the door completely.

If you’re a student, you may have more freedom in avoiding them for partner work or standing away from them if possible. We all attend class for different reasons, and I am quite willing to prioritize the needs of someone else over myself – once in a while. But that class time is my own. If I’m teaching, that class time belongs to the group. Toxic personalities benefits no one, and the more effort we put in to removing it from training, the better the experience for everyone.

EDITOR’S NOTE: For another deep dive into the psyche of a martial artist, be sure to check out Ego in The Martial Arts by contributor Daniel Hartz!