We’ve all seen it in a movie or on television: an athlete “blows out their knee” and is never heard from again. Most people assume the felled athlete smoothly transitioned into another sport or hobby without realizing how difficult, lonely, and frustrating injury and recovery can be.
Life doesn’t stop at an injury. It profoundly changes and moves forward.
On July 9, 2020, I joined the dreaded ranks of those who have “blown out their knee.” Thanks to a seemingly small movement in taekwondo class, I suffered a partial tear to my right anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), plus damage to the meniscus, medial collateral ligament (MCL), and a bone bruise.
My surgeon attempted a repair to the remaining ACL tissue, but the repair failed, so he went to our agreed-upon Plan B: full reconstruction using part of my right quadriceps tendon. Not only did I have a new ACL to rehabilitate, but I had to completely start over building up my quadriceps muscle, which had melted to mush after the tendon graft.
A few months later, I was watching ESPN at the physical therapy clinic and learned that Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow suffered a tear to his left ACL and MCL. As Burrow was being carried away on a stretcher, I recognized the look of grim acceptance and determination on his face, the same look I had once the initial pain of the injury wore off. Meanwhile, the sportscasters fretted over when he would be able to return to professional football. I rolled my eyes and thought about how frustrated and alone Burrow must have been feeling.
Athletes are celebrated for our physical performance, and when that is taken away, we’re left feeling devastated and sometimes at a loss of how to cope. Our well-meaning loved ones and friends expect us to bounce back immediately because we seem so tough and resilient while glossing over how taxing an injury can be.
Here are four things injured athletes want our friends and loved ones to know:
We need more help than we might let on.
Athletes, especially high-level athletes, are fiercely independent and competitive. We don’t like feeling helpless. I underestimated how much knee surgery would incapacitate me for the first few weeks and am so thankful my partner took over my care. You can help your injured athlete by buying them groceries, driving them to appointments, picking up their mail, washing dishes, or running other small errands that feel exhausting and extraneous to someone weakened and in pain.
…But we don’t want your medical advice.
Unless you’re our doctor, physical therapist, or other licensed healthcare provider, please don’t tell us what activities we should or shouldn’t be doing. If we are told to do certain exercises, don’t postulate that we’re working too hard and should “take it easy.” Also, don’t goad us into doing activities our bodies aren’t ready to do.
We’re lonely and sometimes scared.
An injury and long recovery can take an athlete out of their sport for several months, even a year or more. We lose our tight community of fellow athletes, and for some, a sense of purpose and drive. Recovery is tedious and often isolating. We have a lot of time to think and can get anxious, depressed, and fearful we’ll never return to doing what we love. Find ways for your injured athlete to connect with others, even if it’s just through social media or text messages. Help them find distractions to bring them out of the loneliness of recovery.
We want to feel like athletes again.
There’s nothing an injured athlete wants more than to return to his or her sport or at least be active again. If the athlete you love can’t move around much yet, find videos, movies, and shows for them to watch with their favorite sport. Watching the Cobra Kai Netflix series and UFC fights with my best friend from taekwondo felt so refreshing because I felt re-connected to martial arts and could analyze what I watched with a fellow athlete.
It may also be helpful to do small activities with your athlete as he or she recovers, such as taking a short walk, tossing around a ball, or holding a pad for them to (very carefully) hit. Make sure your athlete has been cleared by their medical professional to do certain activities first. This not only helps them with physical recovery, but it can boost their spirits and make them feel connected to something they’ve missed.
Injured athletes want to feel there is hope for recovery and something to look forward to after the pain of injury, surgery, and rehabilitation. As their loved one, companion, or friend, you can help them emotionally and mentally recover as their body recovers. The right kind of support along with the right medical care and rehabilitation can build a stronger, healthier, and happier athlete.
Melanie has worked in the healthcare industry since 2004 and lives in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex.
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Mel,
Great article! Although she isn’t an athlete, my wife is going to be incapacitated due to an upcoming foot surgery. She’s always taking on more responsibility than she needs to (because she could split it with me!), so I anticipate she will be quite antsy and feel “useless.” Hopefully, this time will give her the chance to see she doesn’t always have to be Superwoman!
Thanks, Steve! Best wishes for a safe and speedy recovery to your wife. It’s a good thing you read this article so you know how to take good care of her. 🙂
Melanie,
Well, I didn’t need to read the article to know that. 😛 Nevertheless, it was a good read and a guide for those who might not have thought of these things themselves.
Steve