Embracing Tranquility: A Dàoist’s Guide to Surviving the Holiday Season

The true spirit of holiday traditions lives not in their familiar external forms but in the deeper intentions behind them. When our typical holiday events and machinations become sources of stress, it’s crucial to recognize that we can let go of those specific Practices while still honoring the season’s underlying meaning. By separating the core emotional, spiritual, & relational intentions from the outward reflexive, rigid, & burdensome rituals, we can preserve both the tradition’s essence and our personal peace of mind. This Dàoist approach allows us to embrace the genuine spirit of the holidays – connection, charity, and love. All without being constrained by stressful patterns and prescribed ways of doing things. The Dàoist’s intention is always to maintain emotional equilibrium while staying true to what really matters: the heart of the tradition, not its superficial manifestations. Peace on Earth starts with peace of mind. (And a piece of gingerbread wouldn’t hurt, either!)

 

 

As the annual December holiday season finds us in its icy grip, many of us will find ourselves swept up in a familiar and troubling whirlwind of expectations, obligations, and emotional complexity. We will call this storm “a necessary and beautiful Tradition” even as we incur emotional, psychological, and financial costs. What if the archetypical wizened old sage (bearded, laughing, and wearing a goofy hat) came down from way up there on that cold, snowy perch of a hermitage to share some Winter wisdom? No, not Santa! The Dàoist sage from the mountaintop! Friend to children and Nature’s creatures. You know him. Yes. Our December Dàoist approaches this season not as a time of stress but as an opportunity to savor profound personal cultivation and inner peace. Gather round, and let’s see what the Snowtime Sage’ll say!

The fundamental Dàoist Principle of 無為, Wúwéi – often translated as “effortless action” or “actionless action” – becomes particularly relevant during this potentially chaotic time. Rather than fighting against the currents of holiday expectations, a Dàoist practitioner would seek to flow with them, joyously maintaining an inerrant inner equanimity during each festivity.

 

 

Practical preparation begins with cultivating inner stillness. Our Snow Day Sage long ago developed a discipline built of deliberate moments of meditation and quiet reflection. This inner oasis and reservoir is the fireside calm to balance out the blizzard of bustling holiday circumstances. While Winter’s mint can be fun, it can also surprise and even sting – especially where open wounds might suffer from minty exposure. Practical preparation for outbursts of pepperminty pettifoggery this season is a recipe for peacefulness. A Dàoist might start each morning with a gentle eggnog Qìgōng Practice by the large windows with a view of snowplows, making the paths ahead clear for the day ahead. The Midwinter Morning Monk might settle into a seated meditation beside the tea kettle as warmth and activity burble up in the water, in the house, and inside the monk. Such practices help to establish a core of calm that can offer an alternative to those recommended by exaggerated external pressures. Such Practices aren’t about escaping social obligations. The Snow Sage’s Practices are about building a resilient inner Winter wonderland that can remain calm, soft, and quiet. A beckoning and beautiful snowy soulscape that remains footprint-free and quietly covered in a quilt of soft and sparkling snow…regardless of external circumstances. A resource of Presence that can be shared and thus be among the greatest presents of the season. Having all the calm leaves us no room to have any qualms.

 

 

Gift-giving itself, a common holiday tradition, can be transformed through a Dàoist perspective. Instead of becoming stressed and strangled by the familiar and insistent commercial expectations and burdensome material excess, our Dàoist friend might consider gifts as creative expressions of sincere human connection. A carefully chosen, meaningful gift – perhaps something found or handmade? Perhaps a song or story? A hand-calligraphed poem? Perhaps a carefully curated and shared experience will build bonds and lasting memories? Perhaps a poem learned in the recipient’s native language and shared over wine? Any of these can align more closely with the Dàoist appreciation of simplicity and authentic relationships. What could be a better gift than three jewels, eh? The Dàoist knows the three jewels as Simplicity, Patience, & Compassion. Be present for these presents to be presented with the greatest present, the Present.

Shared meals are a fine place to break bread with yet more Dàoist wisdom. Rather than indulging in excess or suffering anxiety, worry, and fear over dietary restrictions, a Dàoist practitioner might approach eating as a playful Practice. A Practice of being in tune, of being present with each bite, and appreciating the nourishment. Gratefulness and thankfulness naturally arise from such a Practice. Mindful eating can be its own meditation, a way of honoring one’s body and gathering family. The same goes for any drinks and conversation that make their way to our place setting. Mindful maceration and mindful conversation move the Dàoist diner toward mindful appreciation. Sugar plums partner well with the most aplomb Dàoist.

Family gatherings, often laden with (and ladling out!) a complex, spicy stew of emotional dynamics, painful patterns, and psychological distress, can be quite the challenge. What family gathering isn’t, in fact, a giant overfilled pot of tangled noodles and allergens in a boiling-over pot teetering on a crowded stovetop with a crowd in the kitchen and loud children underfoot?

 

 

Our Dàoist sous chef doesn’t have a wooden spoon to help stir the stew. Instead, the gift of a most simple wisdom offering – the concept of 樸, Pǔ. Pǔ, or unworked wood – describes the power and beauty of a state of pure potential. Our Polar Potager might approach every family interaction with openness, recognizing potential where others see foregone results. Our Dàoist Pǔ Chef might opt to let the stew sit and settle rather than stirring the pot. There’s no room in the hot kitchen for a hot temper or anything (or anyone) to boil over. So often, we wield our predetermined expectations and don our emotional armor. By remaining flexible and responsive rather than reactive, we can learn to transform potentially friction-filled interactions into opportunities for mutual and meaningful understanding. Souper!

 

 

The Winter season itself holds deep resonance with every Dàoist. This yearly season of slowing, withdrawing, and listening, a time of turning inward, is entirely natural. Each Winter presents us with a sensible and necessary period of withdrawing (to some extent) from the outer world – to curl up into our dens. Further, the season suggests that we turn within ourselves – engaging in introspection, thought, and meditation. Nature reminds us of the value of withdrawing into our inner life, not merely our indoor life. What appears dormant is actually storing potential energy. A modern Solstice Sage honors this natural rhythm by asserting for themselves regular periods of rest and insight. Resisting the cultural pressures to maintain activity levels better suited for warmer weather. This isn’t a rejection of productivity; this is an embrace of the productivity of potential. Onward to the inward. Let Reflectivity and Festivity replace Activity and Productivity!

Another modern challenge we face during the holiday season is the digital data deluge. An Erudite Luddite knows that information is not wisdom. Wisdom is reflected not in what information you have but in how you manage, understand, and make use of it. A Dàoist approach to the App Avalanche might involve scheduling an intentional digital detox. Our Digital Dàoist might create boundaries around communication and social media. Perhaps leaving a phone at home for the holiday party, perhaps powering down all devices when it’s time to prepare dinner, and only turning screens back on after breakfast the next morning. Complete withdrawal isn’t necessary, but our Delighted De-digital Dàoist knows the power of mindful engagement that promises to preserve one’s energetic integrity. Maybe a handwritten note left for a loved one (with cookies and milk) might be a simple and sweet disconnection from the digital and a welcome reconnection with humanity.

As the trees drop their leaves, we are reminded again that money doesn’t grow on trees. Dàoist principles can be a comforting companion when financial pressures arise. Instead of getting caught in cycles of consumption and stress, one might Practice radical simplicity. A Dàoist Arborist might take a cue from the evergreens and hold onto the season’s hardwon green and not fall into the usual cycle of abundance and loss. Greenbacks, yes. Green with envy, no.
Our pine-friendly Dàoist Arborist, most of all, favors the present moment, the current moment. Staying current with bills and spending no more than one currently has is a way to stay friendly with the current moment and one’s currency. Pine-ancial advice, you might say.

 

 

Remember our Dàoist’s three wise jewels? Simplicity, Patience, & Compassion? Consider considering them when you consider gift-giving, parties, and gift-receiving. These are silent and subtle gifts we cultivate in ourselves (self care) and give to each occasion and every encounter.
Simplicity.
Priciness doesn’t equate to meaningfulness. Gifts don’t even have to be things.
Patience.
Family patterns reasserting themselves is to be expected. We are not at this party to change people, and we are here to plant the seeds of the season. Less reactivity equals less friction.
Compassion.
Everyone faces challenges, and often, these challenges live beneath smiling holiday faces. (A “Very Merry” can bury very much.) Many, many other beings suffer out of our sight. Our Dàoist knows that what is out of sight needn’t be out of mind and thus might cultivate an intention to consider suffering everywhere. We can cultivate compassion for those suffering this season…whether from Winter cold or Holiday aches – by keeping this in the forefront of our thoughts. Such empathy softens our mood and mode as it melts hearts all around. A bit of warmth this time of year – both the literal and the metaphorical kinds – is just what the Dàoist might be expected to bring: some Yáng warmth to go with the Yīn warmth.

 

 

Ultimately, a Dàoist joyfully waltzes into the holiday season, prepared to prioritize and maintain (everyone’s) inner harmony while enthusiastically participating in life’s seasonal and holiday offerings. Our Dàoist Dancer playfully enjoys this sock-hop and swings from engagement to detachment. Our Samba Sage is busy being present without being consumed. Our Disco Dàoist is moving to the rhythms of Nature (and the party’s DJ!) while appreciating the opportunities this snow season provides for honoring connections…all without getting lost in external expectations.

As the calendar year draws to a close, a Dàoist practitioner sees not a season of stress and duress but an opportunity for profound integration. This Wholly Jolly Holly Holiday is a chance to Practice moving with sublime and inspiring grace through the treacherous web of social complexities.
Our Sagacious Santa-like Swami is prepared to invest in interior life by continuing to cultivate inner tranquility and thus entering the new year with a renewed sense of balanced potential.

 

 

 

Stephen Watson, the author, may be contacted at FarmingOurSomedays@Gmail.com or via SomedayFarm.org. A course for beginners on Focused Attention Meditation is in the works. Space in this online course is limited, so reach out to secure your spot!