The Nature of the Job
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has always been my best tool as a bouncer.
“If she lets go of you, will you calm down?”
Our head of security was reasoning with an intoxicated female patron. I was in the process of ejecting her from the bar in a rear-naked choke. It was not on tight, of course. The goal here was to restrain, not to injure or hurt. Nonetheless, I could see the effect my skillfully applied choke was having on her.
“Yes, please. Yes, I’ll calm down.” I let her go and my boss escorted her off property.
She had been refused entry to an area of the bar that required a bracelet, similar to those worn in all-inclusive resorts. Bracelets were granted to those who paid extra. She was not pleased at being denied entry and stormed off knocking over two large planters and spilling soil all over the floor in the process. That’s when I determined she had been enough trouble to be asked to leave. She was not pleased about this either. I walked after her and explained to her it was time to go. She ignored me and kept walking deeper into the bar. I determined I had to get control of her before she walked into the crowd. As I slowly but firmly grabbed one of her wrists and repeated that it was time to leave, she started swinging punches. Hence the rear-naked choke.
How Martial Arts Fits In
I worked security in bars and nightclubs for several years. It is a world of its own. Mix a liberal application of alcohol with a solid dose of entitlement, add to that drugs, sometimes weapons and a disconnect from reality all in the name of having a good time and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. But disaster was what we signed up for. We knew working in this industry that no night was going to be an uneventful night.
I have a black belt in Karate and I have a trained in Muay Thai for several years. That being said, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is what made me feel safe working in the bars. That is the discipline that made me feel competent, able to defend myself and able to control most situations that came at me. I am by no means a world champion, nor am I a black belt. I would call myself a decent purple belt. Nonetheless, the skills I learned in this sport and art were invaluable in that environment.
I always believed that the first line of defence when working security were words. The ability to deescalate a situation, to reason with someone and find common ground is the safest tool I have for handling a situation. After all, security isn’t about brawling and teaching lessons, it’s essentially customer service. The goal is for everyone to have a good time and return the next night to continue spending ludicrous amounts of money on overpriced liquor and VIP booths.
Words, however, are not always enough. Sometimes logic is not within reach and a person needs to be removed from the premises. When it comes to physical altercations as security my goal was never to hurt or injure someone, it was always to restrain as safely as possible – safely for myself and for the patron.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gave me the tools to do this. There is a reason we call it the gentle art. We can use techniques and holds to control someone without doing any damage. Besides, it’s never a good idea to go toe to toe with anyone, let alone a man who outweighs me by who knows how much. Though throwing a punch may have crossed my mind a few times, I never saw it as a safe or appropriate response.
The Bottom Line
I started working security in nightclubs because a wrestling partner told me he needed female guards where he was head of security. I had never been in such an environment before. My martial arts training, especially BJJ, gave me the confidence I needed to handle situations before they got physical. I also knew if they did I could most likely handle myself.
That being said, the second piece of the puzzle in allowing me to feel safe was my team. In almost every bar or club I have worked at, the team was comprised of trustworthy guys who had my back no matter what. At the same time, they knew what I was capable of and let me handle what I needed to without jumping in to save me. We all saw the benefits of my training.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has so many wonderful benefits. It can help manage our mental health, it provides us with a sense of community, it is great for exercise and physical health, it build confidence. The list goes on and on. My foray in bar security also taught me that it is real-life practical. It is the tool that makes me feel safest should I have to get into a physical altercation.
I think, however, that the following Jean Jacques Machado quote is important to remember. “The more you know, the less you use”. I believe he was referring to the fact that a more skilled practitioner needs to do less to be effective. I also interpret it as meaning that a trained martial artist is wiser in terms of when to use their skills. There is no need to be a hothead; there is nothing to prove to anyone. After all, we’ve all experienced it in the gym; the hothead is never the guy who comes out on top.
She began volunteering in the mental health field in 2013, hoping to help provide a service she wished she knew existed when she was in her darkest place. Dedicating herself to Distress Centre Durham, she started as a crisis helpline responder and became a mentor, trainer and supervisor. In 2017, DCD awarded her their Volunteer of the Year Award and in 2018, she won Distress and Crisis Ontario’s Spirit of Volunteerism Award.
Her involvement with DCD led her to seek out further education and training in mental health. She holds a diploma in Social Service Work from Humber College and has attended Ryerson University and University of Toronto as a psychology student. She has also completed countless certificates, such as the Applied Suicide Interventions Skills Training.
Valéry now delivers talks and workshops, raising awareness and equipping people with the tools and language to support others and manage their own mental health. In 2019, she delivered a TEDx talk on the stigma surrounding suicide. She has also written for organizations such as the National Alliance for Mental Illness and the International Bipolar Foundation.
- Managing Nerves for Competition - August 16, 2021
- Being a Woman: What Martial Arts Has Taught Me - July 8, 2021
- Brazilian Jiu Jitsu: My Best Tool as a Bouncer - June 7, 2021
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